Navigating Self-Care and Support During the Holiday Season: A Guide for Survivors
The holiday season is often hailed as a time of joy, warmth, and connection with loved ones. However, it's crucial to acknowledge that this time of year can bring significant stress and challenges for many individuals. Survivors of domestic or sexual abuse, in particular, may find themselves navigating unique difficulties during the holiday season. In this blog post, we want to emphasize the importance of prioritizing self-care and provide guidance on supporting those impacted by abuse.
Some challenges survivors might face during the holidays include:
Navigating social gatherings where their abuser or unsupportive family/friends are present.
Coping with the financial strain of gift-buying, decorations, and hosting meals.
Co-parenting with an abusive ex-partner during the holidays.
Navigating the pressure to socialize with others when their abuser uses isolation.
Struggling to "keep the peace" for the sake of children or the holidays while spending extended time with an abuser.
Support Strategies for Survivors:
1. Mindful Planning: Spending time with family, whether toxic or supportive, can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. Create a plan to prioritize your own well-being. This could involve setting boundaries, taking breaks when needed, and having an exit strategy in place.
2. Build a Support Network: Identify individuals who know your situation and can support you. This might include reaching out to a therapist, confiding in a trusted friend, or leaning on a partner. Establishing a reliable support network is crucial for emotional well-being. Reach out to a DV advocate 24/7 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233.
3. Develop a Plan of Action: Consider what steps you will take if you encounter an abusive family member. Communicate with trusted family members, friends, or others who can support you in leaving if necessary. Have a well-thought-out plan of action, such as a code phrase for a partner or friend to intervene.
4. Safety Planning for Travel: If traveling with an abuser and/or with children, create a safety plan. If your children are traveling with you, have additional copies of their documents and your own. Know your custody rights if you decide to go with the children into hiding while traveling out of state or abroad.
5. Check-In System: Develop a check-in system with someone you trust during the holidays or extended weekends. Establish a code word that indicates if you need assistance without tipping off your abuser. Be sure there are agreed-upon actions in response to the code word, whether it involves a call, a visit, or contacting the authorities.
6. Create Opportunities to Get Out: Abusers often maintain control by restricting the time a survivor spends with others or alone. Consider plausible reasons to leave safely, such as needing to pick up a much-needed item for the household or something involving children. Having legitimate reasons to step away can provide moments of respite.
Self-Care for Survivors:
Even in our day-to-day, self-care can feel hard to do. During the holidays, this may feel like an impossible task. However, even for 5 minutes or a couple of hours, we all deserve to find time for ourselves. There are many types of self-care, and it can look different for everyone. Here are some ideas to help you care for yourself during a stressful time of the year or after a traumatic event.
This holiday season, let's foster a culture of empathy and support. You deserve the space to prioritize your well-being. By implementing self-care strategies and building a strong support network, it’s possible to navigate the challenges of the holidays with resilience and strength. Remember, your safety and comfort are paramount.
